Happy Clean Up Your Room Day!

So you may be asking what? Happy Clean Up Your Room Day? Yes, Sunday, May 10th is clean up your room day!(This post may be a little scatter brained....just warning you)

About 3 years ago I was in search of a book that was about an LDS couple going through what Mike and I were going through with infertility. The only one I found was fiction, but a good story as the author really tapped in to what a Mother's Day Sacrament is like for someone like me. More on that in a minute, but basically, the husband found obscure holidays to celebrate instead. Like May 8th in the book was No Socks Day (this is accurate too). So that is what I have done for the last few years. Looked up different holidays.
Let me explain a little bit. Mike and I are still getting to know people in our ward. It doesn't help that there is another set of Robins (spelled Robbins) in our same apartment complex that are also relatively new. So when people meet us, or re-meet us, the first question is do we have kids...answer...no or not yet depending on what tone they used when asking.
Next question...How long have you been married.... going on 8 years.
You can see them trying not to show what they are thinking....
and then the so your husband must be in school.
I answer yes (after all he is) but you can tell that they ASSUME that is why we don't have kids yet.
I remember 2 years ago, Mother's Day Sacrament. Nice talks. I specifically told my husband not to urge me to stand up when they handed out flowers. People don't understand how it feels. First they ask all the MOTHERS to stand, then they realize it...oops....and these words came out of the Bishop or his counselor's mouth (I don't remember which)..."and all the wanna-be moms"
OUCH! I still didn't stand. I think he must have realized how it sounded because he then said, all the mother's in training. I still didn't stand. Then, as the flowers were passed out they had the congregation sing some song like Teach Me to Walk, that was my breaking point. I was done. I was in tears. A young woman who was helping pass out the flowers gave one to me and said "he said mother's in training."
Last year, I was able to miss the pain that is mother's day because I was trying to become a mother...(this is PG people, don't worry). Mike and I were going through the IVF process for the first time and this was the day they retrieved my eggs. So instead of going through the same embarrassment of getting a sympathy flower, I was trying to make it so that it would be the most memorable mother's day ever. We found out Memorial Day weekend we were pregnant, however, we did miscarry....
So this year....Happy Clean Up Your Room Day! I won't say how I am going to handle the church thing...because really, it is not the way I think it should be handled, but I have found that finding something else to celebrate has helped me out.
Being LDS and married for over 7 years with no kids makes you feel like the kid who came to school in his underwear on those old TV sitcoms....You stand out, you are strange, there is something wrong with you. I am becoming more comfortable in this role, but Mother's Day is still something I can not get through. So to all the mothers out there, enjoy your day, remember each child is a blessing, and have a great Clean Up Your Room Day!