Birthday Party Pics and 1 Year Stats

We had a "small" birthday party for Grayson on Saturday. I use quotes around small because everyone's interpretation of this word is different. Small to us was 6 of my 7 siblings, some of their spouses and some of my nieces and nephews and a great-niece and great-nephew, plus a couple of friends and their kids that see Grayson often. We had the party at Settlers Park and mainly just did lunch and cake.
Here are a few pictures from the day.

With Aunt Carma

MMMMM...PIZZA

Walking with Cousin Dallan

CAKE SMASH!!

It was simple and fun.

Grayson also had his 1 year check up today. He was still mighty small, but he was a pound heavier than the dr was hoping after him getting so sick last month. He weighed in at 17 lbs 8 oz and was 27 1/4" long. Both were 3% or under. Weight was not even on the chart- but as I stated in the previous post- these are not test scores.
Grayson exceeded all milestones by walking, knowing 4 signs (milk, all done, more and eat), and 7 words (Nigh Nigh, Banana, Up, All Done, Mama, DAAAADDD, uh-oh). Once he warmed up to the ped he was super social with him. Grayson babbled some stories- and they were funny ones I guess because after he waited a minute and then laughed. He showed the ped his cracker he was eating and offered him some too. He also got his 1 year shots and only cried for a moment.
My lil boy is perfect according to the ped- something I already knew.

A Year Has Passed!

I can't believe it has already been a year! My handsome lil man is no longer a baby- but a TODDLER! I have thought a lot about my journey to motherhood. I struggled with infertility for 8 long years, but the journey to motherhood did not end with that positive pregnancy test- it didn't even end the day Grayson was born.... No, I am still on my journey to motherhood.

I remember being in this stupor after Grayson was born. The events that had transpired seemed almost as if I had just read them from a book....for surely, I was not a mother. I held this little baby in my arms, yet it all seemed so surreal to me.

This is the only picture of me and Grayson in the hospital- taken on my phone the day AFTER his birthday.

I couldn't believe that I had carried this child inside of me, and now he was finally here. He looked up at us, very alert for a newborn, and I remember thinking that I must be dreaming.

On his birthday!

 For months after Grayson was born, we would at times, find ourselves forgetting that we really had a child. Not forgetting, more like, thinking we had woken up from a dream, while he slept quietly in another room, or was asleep in the backseat of the car. We would sit there, look at each other and say- "Is this real? Do we really have this gorgeous baby boy?"

Now, reality has set in- but we still find ourselves in awe of our little boy every day!

May 2011

While I love capturing moments of Grayson, I still have to learn to be on the other side of the lens. I have gotten better, and make sure to have pictures snapped of us together.

When Grayson was born, Mike was definitely the proud daddy!



Mike and Grayson on Grayson's Birth Day

And he still is! In fact, he is constantly bragging about Grayson and showing him off. He is one of those "annoying" parents that thinks their child is the center of EVERYONE's universe!

When Grayson was first born, and those first few weeks, I worried a lot about his size, where he was on the charts, and felt that if he wasn't moving high up in the percentiles, it meant he wasn't progressing. He was a tiny lil guy after all.

Going home from the hospital- Even NEWBORN clothes were WAY to big on him

But I learned that those charts are not like test grades, and being in the 1-2% does not mean my child is failing. While he grew slowly, he grew, and his body was proportionate. Height did not grow faster than weight. While it took him a year to get to size 3-6 month clothes, he still grew, and not just on the charts, he was mobile at an early age. By four months he would mysteriously be clear across the room from where I had left him laying while running to the restroom. By 6 months he was an army crawling pro, and by 7 months he walked along furniture. He surprised us even more, by waiting 3 more months to venture away from furniture at all, and another month after that before he started fully walking on his own. Even now, he prefers to hold our hands when out in public.

Grayson has changed in so many ways, back then we marveled at his multi-colored hair- the blonde tips that teenage boys would pay hundreds of dollars for-

With his Aunt Amanda- Check out the hair!

His hair continued to amaze us as it grew like none other, very little fell out, and it refused to lay flat and continued to go in a mohawk.
I learned to cut a baby's hair long before I had planned. With each hair cut, his hair changed color, going from dark brown with blonde tips, to red, to blonde, to almost white.

Grayson can boast that he has had 7 haircuts before the age of one year.

He can also boast that he is an experienced traveler.

He has been to 10 states besides Idaho, has taken a 10 day road trip, flown to Texas and back, survived overnight drives to California, seen Disneyland, fallen off a hotel bed, and visited an emergency room while on vacation.  He has even survived driving to Lewiston and home in one day- twice!!!!

Grayson cracked us up with his attentiveness and his faces the first few days and weeks of his life-

And of course- he still does.His laugh is contagious and HUGE!

Indeed, Grayson has changed a lot, and so have I. I find myself just starting to realize that I really am a mother. I think being a mother is in a sense, something that happens overnight, but also, something that you grow into and changes as your little one does.

I feel so blessed to have this handsome young man in my life. He is such a great gift and has taught me so much already. This year has passed so fast. I am sad that Grayson is no longer my baby, but look forward to the toddler years and the years after that. I hope to savor every moment, laugh at every silly thing he does, hold him when he needs comforting, and always be able to call him my lil baby.

Thank you to Reflections Photography by Sue Anderson for Grayson's one year pictures and our family portraits.

Playing at the Park

We have been blessed with a few nice days here. Days where we don't need jackets to be outside and the wind is minimal. It is really starting to feel like Spring in Idaho.

During these nice days, we have been able to do a little more stuff outside.
Here are a few pictures from adventures at the park. The girls in the pictures belong to my friend Toni who I walk the mall with, and we get out together with our kids.

Grayson loves to just walk around the park and people watch. He will walk, look around and LAUGH!

The swings with Grayson are hit and miss. I guess this day they were a hit.

This is Toni's older girl. This day the sun kept going behind the clouds and a cold breeze would kick up so jackets were needed.

This is Toni's younger girl who is a year older than Grayson. They are friends and love going to the mall every day together.

Doesn't he look so cute in those sunglasses? He hates when we put them on but if we just get him distracted by something else for a few minutes then he forgets they are there.

I am excited to do a lot more outside. We have been venturing out of the mall and over to petsmart with the kids. Grayson loves to watch the animals. He SCREAMS at me when it is time to go because he doesn't want to leave. I am very excited that I am getting a zoo pass so I can take him to the zoo this summer, fall and next spring! It will be a lot of fun!

For Rent

First off, I apologize for the lack of interesting posts with pictures of that cute lil man of mine. I hope to pick those back up soon.

We have currently outgrown our current apartment. Not really outgrown it- more that the layout does not work for us. It is a "roommate" apartment with 2 master bedrooms on opposite sides of teh house. There are few walls in the home that are available to put things like computer desks, etc on. The counter space in the bathroom is minimal and the kitchen has little to none counter space. The dining room is on the opposite side of the living room as the kitchen and is carpeted- not super friendly when you have a baby who feeds himself.

So, we set out to look for a new place. Since we hope to move from Boise after Mike gets done with school we decided to rent still. We found a nice apartment that has much better layout, a gorgeous kitchen, and is bigger. We felt really good about the place and we will be moving in at the end of this month, beginning of next.


But that is not the only reason I have the title I do for this post. I have decided that we need to just rent out a room at the hospital. Yesterday- I ended up in the ER for pain I thought was coming from my ulcer. It turns out that my gall bladder needs to be removed. YIKES! I have an appointment with the surgeon tomorrow and I hope to get it removed QUICKLY as it is very painful. I rated my pain after my c-section (with no painkillers) a 2 and I rated this an 8. I could barely move.  They gave me some good painkillers which I have been taking very happily to keep myself feeling well enough to be able to play and take care of Grayson.

At least all our deductibles will be met this year....now we can get sick all we want. Well, except Mike. He hasn't met his deductible.

That is all the news going on right now. Grayson is growing and is super mobile and talkative, although I constantly worry that he is not on track for his words. He LOVES to explore, study things and figure them out.

Again, I apologize for the lack of cute, fun posts- hopefully I will find some time to get some done soon.

Bad Blogger

Yes- I am a bad blogger! I have been busy lately between Grayson being ill, doctors appointments, dentist appointments, getting in daily exercise, trying to de-clutter our small apartment, planning Grayson's birthday party, and more- I have found little time to blog.

I thought I could start by explaining what happened with Grayson.

It started on Monday, April 11th. Grayson started having (WARNING- possible TMI coming) poops that looked like newborn, breastfed baby poops- even though he is weaned and having lots more solids. They smelled of sulfur. I thought before this that I knew what rotten egg poop smelled like- but now I REALLY know what it smells like.
That night he was up all night, not feeling well. Had a fever of 101 even after fever reducer. We contributed all this to the fact that he was cutting 4 teeth at once (and later we realized it is 5 teeth).
Tuesday afternoon he started refusing bottles. I called his doctor who said to get him to eat what we could and I syringe fed him.
Wednesday, still refused all liquids and foods, was sleeping non-stop, not active at all. I considered him pretty close to lethargic.  I called his ped again, and they said to bring him in.
They said it looked like he had a stomach virus. Keep an eye on him to make sure he stays hydrated, etc.
Well, by Wednesday night, Grayson couldn't even sit up, he would just lay in the same spot whether awake or asleep. He had not made a full wet diaper all day. I was still forcing fluids by syringe. When he would cry, he wouldn't have tears.
Mike and I decided to take him to the emergency room. I won't get into this visit as looking back it infuriates me. Let's just say- I should have fought more for what I knew was wrong in my heart. Unfortunately, Mike sided with the ER doctor (I think this is because he has a family member who is a real hypochondriac and he fears of becoming one with Grayson) and so I let it go. The ER doctor basically said he was fine and didn't need an IV or anything and to just keep pushing fluids by syringe.
Thursday, I thought things were getting better because I got Grayson to take a couple ounces here and there by bottle. However, he ended up throwing most of it back up. He was still just laying around. We knew he was sick because we could lay him somewhere awake and he would just go back to sleep. He normally fights sleep- even after he is asleep. He wouldn't roll over, talk, anything.
Friday morning he was still acting like this. I called the pediatrician again. They wanted to see him right away. I got a different ped than his (because they wanted me in so fast) but I really liked her. She realized how worried I was, even though she didn't think Grayson was too bad off, she sent us to the hospital to be admitted for an IV. She was sure it would only be a few hours.
Well, they gave a bolis (?) IV to Grayson which is where they flush in saline to really fill him up with some fluid, then they switched to the regular IV (with the electrolytes like they give a woman in labor or someone having surgery). After 5 hours he still hadn't perked up any so they did another bolis. Finally, 8 hours later he was feeling a little better. He still refused to take a bottle or food.
When the labs from his bloodwork came back it showed he was SEVERLY dehydrated. I was actually told that they were glad he was in there because his kidneys could have failed soon. I was told I was lucky I was force feeding him by syringe and that probably saved him.
I had told every doctor about his poops and how they smelled, and every doctor dismissed it. Even the resident doctor. Then the resident doctor was in the room when Grayson had a poopy diaper. And he smelled it. It triggered something in his memory to test it for.
Grayson tested positive for Clostridium difficile. C Diff is a bacteria in the same category as those that cause botulism. It causes diarrhea and dehydrates the body quickly. Especially a tiny little baby's body.
So they started antibiotics and continued the IV. Saturday Grayson threw up a lot of his bottles and kept refusing them so we ended up not being able to come home until Sunday.
He lost a lot of weight, had to take some nasty antibiotics, and more.
After over a week of this, I was very excited when he started smiling and laughing again the middle of the next week. For a long time I had to feed him a few ounces at a time, eating every 1-2 hours, but now he is back to almost the same feeding amounts as before he got sick.
I learned a lot about following my mommy instinct, and Mike learned not to question me when I feel so uneasy after a doctor says everything is fine.