A Year Has Passed!

I can't believe it has already been a year! My handsome lil man is no longer a baby- but a TODDLER! I have thought a lot about my journey to motherhood. I struggled with infertility for 8 long years, but the journey to motherhood did not end with that positive pregnancy test- it didn't even end the day Grayson was born.... No, I am still on my journey to motherhood.

I remember being in this stupor after Grayson was born. The events that had transpired seemed almost as if I had just read them from a book....for surely, I was not a mother. I held this little baby in my arms, yet it all seemed so surreal to me.

This is the only picture of me and Grayson in the hospital- taken on my phone the day AFTER his birthday.

I couldn't believe that I had carried this child inside of me, and now he was finally here. He looked up at us, very alert for a newborn, and I remember thinking that I must be dreaming.

On his birthday!

 For months after Grayson was born, we would at times, find ourselves forgetting that we really had a child. Not forgetting, more like, thinking we had woken up from a dream, while he slept quietly in another room, or was asleep in the backseat of the car. We would sit there, look at each other and say- "Is this real? Do we really have this gorgeous baby boy?"

Now, reality has set in- but we still find ourselves in awe of our little boy every day!

May 2011

While I love capturing moments of Grayson, I still have to learn to be on the other side of the lens. I have gotten better, and make sure to have pictures snapped of us together.

When Grayson was born, Mike was definitely the proud daddy!



Mike and Grayson on Grayson's Birth Day

And he still is! In fact, he is constantly bragging about Grayson and showing him off. He is one of those "annoying" parents that thinks their child is the center of EVERYONE's universe!

When Grayson was first born, and those first few weeks, I worried a lot about his size, where he was on the charts, and felt that if he wasn't moving high up in the percentiles, it meant he wasn't progressing. He was a tiny lil guy after all.

Going home from the hospital- Even NEWBORN clothes were WAY to big on him

But I learned that those charts are not like test grades, and being in the 1-2% does not mean my child is failing. While he grew slowly, he grew, and his body was proportionate. Height did not grow faster than weight. While it took him a year to get to size 3-6 month clothes, he still grew, and not just on the charts, he was mobile at an early age. By four months he would mysteriously be clear across the room from where I had left him laying while running to the restroom. By 6 months he was an army crawling pro, and by 7 months he walked along furniture. He surprised us even more, by waiting 3 more months to venture away from furniture at all, and another month after that before he started fully walking on his own. Even now, he prefers to hold our hands when out in public.

Grayson has changed in so many ways, back then we marveled at his multi-colored hair- the blonde tips that teenage boys would pay hundreds of dollars for-

With his Aunt Amanda- Check out the hair!

His hair continued to amaze us as it grew like none other, very little fell out, and it refused to lay flat and continued to go in a mohawk.
I learned to cut a baby's hair long before I had planned. With each hair cut, his hair changed color, going from dark brown with blonde tips, to red, to blonde, to almost white.

Grayson can boast that he has had 7 haircuts before the age of one year.

He can also boast that he is an experienced traveler.

He has been to 10 states besides Idaho, has taken a 10 day road trip, flown to Texas and back, survived overnight drives to California, seen Disneyland, fallen off a hotel bed, and visited an emergency room while on vacation.  He has even survived driving to Lewiston and home in one day- twice!!!!

Grayson cracked us up with his attentiveness and his faces the first few days and weeks of his life-

And of course- he still does.His laugh is contagious and HUGE!

Indeed, Grayson has changed a lot, and so have I. I find myself just starting to realize that I really am a mother. I think being a mother is in a sense, something that happens overnight, but also, something that you grow into and changes as your little one does.

I feel so blessed to have this handsome young man in my life. He is such a great gift and has taught me so much already. This year has passed so fast. I am sad that Grayson is no longer my baby, but look forward to the toddler years and the years after that. I hope to savor every moment, laugh at every silly thing he does, hold him when he needs comforting, and always be able to call him my lil baby.

Thank you to Reflections Photography by Sue Anderson for Grayson's one year pictures and our family portraits.