Grayson Pictures

The only thing about the emergency c-section is there was no time to grab a camera to get pictures. However, I snapped this one of Mike in the recovery room in his scrubs.

Here is Mike and Grayson in the hospital.

Grayson looked so tiny in his car seat. His coming home outfit was too big for him too.

This is a picture of Terrie's daughter Alia holding Grayson the morning after we came home.

This is how I often find Mike and Grayson. So cute!

I promise to get some pictures of me and Grayson eventually. We only took one in the hospital and it was on my phone. It looked great on the phone but when we loaded it up it was pretty blurry.

So far we are enjoying the role of parents. Grayson is a pretty easy baby so far.

Introducing Grayson Keith....

Grayson Keith Robins was born on May 20, 2010 at 11:48 am via an emergency c-section. He weighed 7 pounds 3 ounces and was 20 1/4 inches long. He had a full head of hair and beautiful color.

This is the first decent picture we got that night after his first bath and they styled his hair in a "mohawk"

The Birth Story:
As many of you know I was a week and a day over due on May 20th. I was set to go in for induction that day. The night before, I was given a blessing from my dad and Mike. It was a great comfort to me as I am not a fan of induction. I knew that whatever happened this lil man would arrive here safe and healthy.
That night (the 19th) I actually started having contractions that were about 6-7 minutes apart and were not super strong but made it so I was only able to get in a good 45 minutes of sleep before I had to wake up at 3:45 to get to my 5:00 am induction on time. I thought the contractions had stopped.
However, once I got to the hospital and was hooked up to the Fetal Monitor and Contraction monitor it showed that I was having contractions still just not as strong. They hooked my IV for my "Gatorade" and were getting ready to start a pitocin drip. (I was at 3.5 cm and 80% effaced so my cervix didn't need ripened at all.) At this point Grayson moved a whole bunch and his heart rate dropped. The heart rate should stay above 120 BPM and his dropped to the 90s. It took 2-3 minutes of me changing position and pushing on my uterus for it to come back up. About 15 minutes later it happened again. So the nurse called in the on-call doc from my OBs office. He said to wait on the pitocin until my OB arrived but he was not to concerned. 20 minutes later the heart rate dropped again but only for 1 minute this time. The nurse decided to get everything ready in case my OB came in and wanted to do a c-section from the get go. This was a blessing in disguise.
When my OB got there, the heart rate had stayed steady for a good hour. He went ahead and broke my water and noticed that there was meconium in the water. This meant that when baby came out he would automatically have to be suctioned because he passed his first bowel movement in the womb. Most likely from the stress of his heart rate dropping. We began the pitocin drip shortly after.
Around 8:30 I went to the bathroom and when I came back little man's heart rate was low again and it took a minute to come back up. Since this seemed to be happening every time he or I moved the nurse decided to place an internal monitor so we could see if it was really dropping or just moving farther off the monitor.
At 9:00 ish (sorry, I am a little foggy on some of the times since this was 4 days ago and I didn't get it all written down) I went to the rest room again. The internal monitor also showed a drop but it came right back up. The nurse decided that from then on I would use a bed pan if I had to use the bathroom.
The pitocin levels were now up pretty good. I could definitely feel the contractions and had to really focus and breath through them (and Mike would try and talk to me only during a contraction....UGH..LOL). I was having some back labor. The nurse said I was welcome to get an epidural at any time. I was not wanting to get one and was trying to just labor through. The nurse left the room to go do a few things and when she did I had a VERY strong impression that I needed to get the epidural even though I was doing pretty good with the contractions. I decided that because of the blessing I had been given there was no way I was going to ignore that strong of a prompting. I asked the nurse for the epidural.
I believe it was in place and working by around 10 am. I had them use a low dose because I still wanted to feel the contractions and know if I was progressing. They were kind enough to oblige.
Things were going really well. Grayson's heart rate was pretty steady. It would maybe drop to 117 during a contraction but be right back up where it needed to be right after.
With the epidural you have to rotate sides every so often so that it works on both sides equally. I was on my left side for the 2nd time and the nurse left and said she would be back within 15 minutes. When she came back I told her I was not laying far enough on my actual side but I didn't want to move without her there in case Grayson's heart rate dropped again. She said I didn't need to wait for her but go ahead and move now. She was telling me she was heading to lunch for a half hour or whatever. This was between 11:20 and 11:30 am
As soon as I moved, Grayson's heart rate dropped clear down to 33 beats per minute. I started moving as much as I could into different positions while she pushed on my uterus to try and get it up. She threw an oxygen mask on me. At this point, Mike who had been sleeping woke up to a bunch of nurses running in the room calling my OB and moving me and the mask on my face. He asked what was going on? Of course I couldn't tell him because of the mask. He goes 1 for baby time 2 for no. I didn't know. I just knew something was wrong. The nurse told him to change into the scrubs. (So much for her lunch.)
My OB rushed in. He looked at me and said the baby was giving him a heart attack today. I felt really calm at that moment and just said "I know what you need to do and I trust you to get him here safe." Right away I was wheeled into the OR. As they were wheeling me they were putting the meds into my epidural in order to completely numb me. I am so glad I had listened to the prompting. If that line had not been in me I would have had to been knocked out completely for the c-section.
The OB and the assisting OB came in all scrubbed up and as soon as I was numb they started cutting before Mike was even in the room. The meds were making me shake REALLY bad in my arms and it was a HUGE comfort when Mike came in. The NICU team was right there in the room to take care of Grayson when he came out.
As soon as they pulled Grayson out he started crying. The NICU nurses started suctioning his lungs, etc and Mike was able to be where he could see me but still be right by the baby. I was able to watch them clean up Grayson from the operating table. Even with all the trouble he scored a 9 on his APGAR.
As they were "putting back in my pieces" my doctor explained Grayson still hadn't dropped and it most likely would have ended in a c-section just much later in the day.
As soon as I was all together, Mike, Grayson and I were all taken to the recovery room together where he nursed for an hour straight. We were then taken up to our room.
So far my recovery has gone well. I am just starting to get some stinging in my incision on one side (which they said is normal) when I move. I had some problems with my intestines but they cleared up most of the way and now I am just watching what foods I eat.
We are home and Terrie and Alia are here from Texas until tomorrow afternoon. I am so grateful to have her here because she has gone through 5 c-section births and knows how it feels.
Grayson is such a blessing. Daddy has been very helpful and has changed almost all the diapers so I am not having to bend over and try and do it.
While I had hoped to go as natural as possible for this birth, I am so grateful for the Spirit being with me that day. I know that my doctor and nurses were guided by the spirit in the decisions they made and that Heavenly Father was really looking after our little man. The next few weeks will be a real struggle for me as I am very limited in what I can do but I am so grateful to have all the support I do. We will post more pictures soon.

Eviction Date is Set

Well, I went to the OB today and we set an eviction date for lil man. I was not worried about going over my due date but I had hoped to avoid an induction as I hope to go natural. However, there is a little worry that lil man is not so little since he refuses to drop. Generally, in a first time mom this means the baby may be to big to fit through her pelvis. Both the OB and I are hopeful this is not the case since my family has not had trouble with this.
So Baby Robins will be evicted by the end of the week. We are not sharing the exact date as we want to be able to avoid tons of calls/texts and also because if too many women are in labor they may have to reschedule.
While we are excited to meet our little guy, I am sad to have this pregnancy come to an end. I have had an easy pregnancy and have really enjoyed it.

Eviction Notice

Lil Man Robins- If you do not decide to leave the residence on your own, Unfortunately we will have to evict you! You have outstayed your lease and since you show no signs of wanting to come out (unlike a month ago...where you kept acting like you wanted to come out) I may be forced to have you escorted out of the property. Please, take this notice seriously and come out!

So, I am due today....

I guess I am going to be one of the 50+% of women who goes past their due date. Keeping my fingers crossed this little man comes in the next couple days. I was hoping to be home from the hospital by the time Terrie arrives. But, I guess I have to just hope, walk, and talk to this little guy and then be patient for his arrival.
I am really glad that I have the OB I do. So many of my friends were induced prior to their due date just because they were dilated a little or tired of being pregnant. Several of them ended in c-section. My OB wants to let this pregnancy take it's course for a while longer. Although it still may come to induction, he is not pushing it right away. He kind of has a more "mid-wife" frame of mind then many OBs today.
If you want to take a guess when this lil man will arrive, leave a comment on the post below this one.
And, I guess I could still go today since it is only 10 am. So maybe I shouldn't be posting this yet...

When Will Baby Robins Arrive?

I thought this might be fun...but I don't know if I am doing this early enough to give anybody time to guess.

I am due this Wednesday...May12th. So leave a comment of date, time (and if you feel really lucky weight and length) that our lil man will arrive. Then we will see who is closest. We are really hoping he appears this week but my doctor has already stated we will not induce before the 20th at the earliest...so good luck!

Mother's Day

The last 4 or 5 years, I would look up a different Holiday to celebrate on Mother's Day. The thought of Mother's Day put me in tears. I remember 3 or 4 years ago was the last Mother's Day Sacrament meeting I attended. I dreaded the moment when they asked the moms to stand and then would add...all women over 18. If you didn't stand, everyone around you would urge you to. UGH! This particular Mother's Day, I had told Mike ahead of time I was not going to stand and do not try and urge me to. So I sat as the young women and young men prepared to hand out flowers. They then asked all the moms to stand. I remained seated. Then they said all expectant moms....stayed seated. And then, while meaning well, poorly worded.. "All the wanna-be-moms" and then, as he realized how that must sound "I mean....moms in training" TOO LATE! The tears were already pouring down my face. And then, a sweet, young woman, brought me a flower while I stayed sitting and said, "All those who are going to be great moms soon"...MORE TEARS. As I sat bawling, embarrassed, my wonderful husband tried to comfort me...which made me cry more. I vowed to myself I would never put myself through that again. That was the last Sacrament I attended on Mother's Day. I actually lucked out. The next year, we were doing IVF and my egg retrieval...on Mother's Day. The year after that, we had to go out of town for it and I can't remember last year...I think we were both sick actually.
This year, while I am not avoiding the day, it still feels weird to celebrate it as I don't feel that I am officially a mom since lil man is not here yet. However, I don't feel like I have to avoid everyone and everything.
Someone tried to tell me last year that "Mother's Day isn't my favorite Holiday so I know how you feel." This was someone who became a mom well before she had planned on it. I just looked at her and said, "Until you have wanted to be a mom so bad that you have spent hours in prayer, scripture study, personal reflection, tears, and more....desperately wanting what comes so easily to others, you will never know how I feel on Mother's Day. It is one thing for it to just not be your favorite Holiday....it is another for that Holiday to slap you in the face each year reminding you that the one thing you want more than life is not happening for you." I will never forget how Mother's Day made me feel.
So, as I try and change my view on Mother's Day, please remember that there are those out there who would give anything to feel like they deserve to celebrate this day. They do anything to avoid the reminder that they have not yet been blessed with a child of their own. ALSO- remember how special a gift it is to be a mother. Whether you planned on being one or not...your child is a gift. And they are blessed to have you as a mother.

UNEMPLOYED! (and an update)

I am now officially UNEMPLOYED! Crazy! And I am HAPPY about it....
I have been working since I was 16 so it feels wierd to not have to report to work today. The funny thing is.... I could have slept in a little today before getting up.... NOPE.... I was wide awake at 4:30 am (2 hours before I would have gotten up had I been working) and have not been able to fall back asleep. So I finally got up and ate some breakfast and now not quite sure what to do with myself this early in the morning. I guess it is preparing me for when I will be awoken and all hours of the night.

On another note....Mike is only a pound or two away from his goal. I am starting to think that he may have to think the goal over as he doesn't have much more weight to lose. He is still hoping to get down to his goal before the baby arrives so they are now in a race with each other.

Unfortunately, we have not gotten any new info on Mike's "aunt" that is missing. We are keeping her children and the rest of her family in our prayers as well as praying that she is found (hopefully safe).

For those who do not know, my nephew Ryder had moved to Tennessee last fall for a job. He finished the job a lot quicker then the estimated time but since it was winter, he stayed out there until his mom (Carma), Joyce, and my parents went out to get him. This was just a few weeks ago. He was in Knoxville. Since they were driving all the way over there they decided to do some sight seeing. They visited the Opryland Hotel and other places in Nashville. I am grateful they went when they did as they were only a week ahead of the floods in Nashville. The gorgeous Opryland Hotel now has 10 feet of water in it (according to what I saw on the news). We are glad they were able to see the beautiful sights, but more so, we are glad they returned home before the floods occured. To all those who have lost their homes- you are in our prayers.

Prayer Request

I haven't shared this story on here because we don't know all the facts and I never thought this would happen to someone I know.

For those not in this area, you probably have not heard about this yet but in Clarkston/Lewiston area a woman has been missing since April 16th. This lady is a relative (sort of) of Mike's. Her name is Rachael Anderson. She is a mother of 4. Her 2 daughters are grown and out of the house but she has 2 sons (6 and 11). Rachael was last seen in Moscow, Idaho. Police have the car she was driving and her cell phone and have searched a building in Moscow.

Please keep her in your prayers. And her family. That she may be found- hopefully safe. If you would like to see her picture, or more info on her disappearance, you can go to the local news website and look for any story regarding missing woman, or family asking public to search land, etc.

Our thoughts and prayers are with her family. Her 11 year old son is Mike's cousin (Mike's uncle was married to her when Mike and I met). We hope she is found safe and is able to come home to her family who loves and misses her.

5 Things To Be Happy About in May

1. BABY MONTH!!!!! Can't wait to meet our little guy!
2. Terrie and Alia coming on May 18th
3. Sarah coming May 22nd
4. Mike being done with school until fall (this is the first time he has taken a summer off)
5. BBQ!!!!!- We have already used it once or twice but usually starting May this is where most of our meals are prepared. (Mike has made foods you would never imagine on the BBQ before....)

National Infertility Awareness Week

April 24 - May 1 is National Infertility Awareness Week.

You all are aware that Mike and I struggled with infertility for nearly 8 years. We face a very real chance of dealing with it again. However, we feel so blessed that we were able to overcome this trial. We also are grateful for the many blessings we received while going through it.
Please help raise awareness of infertility by showing your support through a blog post, facebook status, or tweet (is that the right term?). So many couples go through this. It is something that is so hard to bear when it seems to come so easily to all those around you. It is not as simple as "just relax" or "quit trying so hard"
Infertility is real, it is growing, and it is something that you can not understand completely unless you go through it. BUT- even if you can not fully understand it, you can be supportive, give a hug, let those who are going through it enjoy time with your family, and let them love your children. Had it not been for us having friends who let us love their children in our lives, those years of infertility would have been unbearable.
I have said it before...I would never wish infertility on anybody, but I would not change our journey for the world. It has brought us closer together, given us life-long friends, and built our testimonies of the Atonement and the Savior and Heavenly Father's love for us.

37 WEEKS! AKA FULL TERM!

Today is the 37 week mark. (While pregnancy is approximately 40 weeks, 37 weeks is known as full term!) WOOHOO! It is so strange to me to think that this little man could come any time and will be here at latest in one month! After such a long struggle with infertility, it still seems so unreal that this little guy is really coming to be a part of our family.
We are pretty sure on a name, although we are making sure it fits him once he is actually born. We are still debating on what info we will share on this blog since we want to keep it open (as in not private where you have to be invited to view). I guess we will see how it goes. We have been pretty lucky with not having any issues with an open blog yet and we know we can easily switch to a private blog if a problem ever arises.
I only have 2 weeks left at work so I am really hoping this little man decides to stay put until after my last day.

Dear Baby-

We are excited to meet you BUT could you please stay in there for at least 2 1/2 more weeks? You keep acting like you are wanting to come out right now and I would LOVE to have a few more weeks to prepare for you. Your father would like to finish the semester as well. I know you will come out when you decide it is time but PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE....hang in there a little bit longer.

5 Things To Be Happy About in April

I am a little behind this month! OOPS! Here we go though-

1. Our knowledge of the Plan Of Salvation and knowing that families can be together forever
2. General Conference weekend and all the uplifting messages
3. Getting to see family and friends that have supported us through the last 8 1/2 years of trying to start a family and finally being in the home stretch to welcome our little man
4. WARM WEATHER (70s later this week)
5. Being full term (37 weeks) on April 21st which means lil man will be here soon